Indebted

I believe that some thing happened to me in Louisiana. For me to go and do something as simple as gut a house, then come back to Ohio with a sense of longing for God, and for another chance to go to Louisiana, something had to happen.

I have prayed on-and-off again about knowing what thing it was that happened. I joked at work later on, saying "I'd like the number of that wheelbarrow that hit me," but I am serious. I may never figure out exactly what God does through experiences like this, but I know that I came out different. There are times when I would like to know the exact cause, and there are times that I pray for it to remain a mystery, so that I remain focused on God.

I am indebted to Him for whatever He did to me. In spite of the risk of using a cliche, I will say what He did: He opened my eyes and He opened my heart. That is one reason why I want to go back. Part of my prayers to God include asking Him to never let me go back to the way I was. I wonder if I would change more by returning to Louisiana, or if that's just the "spiritual junkie" in me.

Do I need to go back to Louisiana to continue in a life centering on God? No. Does God have a plan for me? Yes. But the "Inverted Life" doesn't require me to go to a specific place in the world. It requires me to change my attitudes and change my life:

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." (Romans 12:2)